Don't make out with my wife yet
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Randomize
