I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
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