in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Randomize
