New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
