Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
