Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
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