at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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