Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Randomize
