You smell like a Billy Joel song
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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