I'm going to jail i love you
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
