1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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