I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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