I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
