I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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