Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
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