Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize
