So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Girls should come with a carfax report
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter