So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
25 People Confess What They Really Think When They See An Obese Person
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
21 Disappointing Confessions From Teenage Fathers
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.