there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
