Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
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He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Randomize