I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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