i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
