Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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