I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
