I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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