So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Randomize
