So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
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