She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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