the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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