i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
