she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
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