That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
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