that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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