i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?