Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
27 Times The Kardashian-Jenner Clan Absolutely Slayed at NYFW
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
19 Doctors Confess The Most Difficult Situation They’ve Ever Had To Face
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?