Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
23 People Reveal The Worst Culture Shock They’ve Ever Experienced While Traveling
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
27 People Confess Their Proudest Fap
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.