i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season