Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
