He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
