ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
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