Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
