It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
Randomize
