yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
