I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Randomize
