At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize