She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
