I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
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