sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
So apparently I’m into choking now
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