What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
