I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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