I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
birth control should be required to get into college
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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