help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Randomize
