He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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