PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
