...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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