I look better un-naked...
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Randomize
