I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
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