I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Randomize
