you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Randomize
