Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
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