Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Randomize
