well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
