U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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