you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
True college students do jello shots in the library
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
