some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Randomize
