Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Randomize
