Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
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New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
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