went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
