i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Randomize
