Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
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